50 points of Warmachine porn

Apart from the gaming front 2014 was an absolute misery, with only my kids and the painting keeping me sane over the last 12 months!

"Come on then! One at a time or all at once it makes no difference to me!"

And whats the best way to see out a year of absolute misery............. play 50 points of Warmahordes against Lano for the last day of the year!

The truth was I was only supposed to be dropping off my gaming table round to his as I no longer have a home for it but we both knew that would not be the end of it and I had the ammo box of Warmachine figures in the boot!

The table is delivered and after 10 minutes or so of small talk, Lano pops the question .... "So we need to christen the table, Right?"

With a rye smile I walk out to the car and drag out the ammo box.

For a full break down of Lanos forces and his intensions please check out his excellent blog post HERE.

He goes with Kallus (thats a new one) and then proceedes to set up row upon row of infantry. I start to wonder where all the warbeast are until he sets up the poxy spawning vessel! So thats were all the corpses will be ending up!

Lano sets his forces up in a BEAUTIFULLY PAINTED flying brick.

50 points of just gorgeous 28mm porn!

I reach for Ashlynn and take her core force of 20 points before adding in another 20 odd points of Steelheads with the additional headache of Alexia, Gorman and Rhupert.

I know for a fact Lano has a love / hate relationship with Alexia and will be making a bee line for her as soon as possible. I hope to use this to my advantage.

The plan is a simple one. I will try to form a gun line on my left, blasting away at the Ogyruns to their front. I hope to mostly be blasting away with "Critical brutals" with the mages while using the Mules to keep sending the beasties for flying lessons with "Critical devistations". If the Ogryns get too close I will switch up to "Thunder bolts" from the mages to push them back or knock them over.

Once the majority of the Ogryns have been blasted to kingdom come I will switch to blasting away at Lano's objective marker. Hopefully this will leave the Mages and Mules to push into the box later in the game to score the points needed to secure victory while blasting everything else out of the control zone!

I want the Halderdiers with Alexia in support to jam the centre for as long as possible. hopefully having Alexia in the centre will cause a "disruption bubble" forcing Kallus to stay out of the centre with all his support stuff.

While this is all going on I want to use the Devil dogs to blast away from point blank range at any crocs and Ogryns left exposed on my right flank. I figure they will only get a couple of shots at this before Lano realises what a giant killer they can be, so want to focus on UA's before the Dogs get smashed into bloody pulps.

My only real concern (apart from playing Lano the smiling assassin) is what to do about the spawning vessel!

I think I might have to give up Gorman or Stannis and try to break them through the middle to have a pop at it as I am not willing to give up my Mages or mules which are needed for the end game!

Turn one: simple really Lano legs it forward as fast as possible!

My turn one; cast "quicken" on the mages and then leg everything forward to allow me to get blasting next turn!

My Mages head for the high ground for a more commanding view of the battle field (and attract the attention of the Ogryns).

"Snowy..... Snowy....... I can see the pub from 'ere!"

Turn two and Lano lurches forward again. I made a real point of staying out of charge range last turn and I think Lano does not want to run in and lose out on the devastation of his charge.

Lano casts various buffs and spells and the Legionaires are sitting on Armour 22 in combat (20 against shooting). I guess they will be the anvil I am supposed to bang my head against!

On reading Lano's battle report later I find out it was actually his intention to tempt me into a charge against the centre.

With the control box uncontested..............

I take the bait!

Using Stannis I hope to combine attack with the Halberdiers and then use assaulting cavalry to blast away at the weakened Everblight before they brutal charge and finally Stannis crashes in to finish off any one on the brink of before destroyed.

Well thats the plan............ Thankfully the Halberdiers are herioc and fearless thanks to Rhupert but the cavalry fail their fear check! They only had to roll under 9 thanks to Stannis!

Now that's how you fail a fear check! Only needed to roll under 9!

The roll of 10 sees the cavalry activation end immediatley and could spell disaster in the centre!

I run Alexia in to jam the centre as I figure I am going to lose A LOT of Steelheads to the  retaliation and will need to collect the corpses to continue to jam the middle giving the gun line time to clear my left flank.

So far the Devil Dogs have been ignored, with the Gators sneaking round the flank of the Halberdiers to get at the cavalry and Alexia next turn. That is all about to change as the Dogs combine shoot the nearest two crocs in the face at point blank range. Their Jack killing blasters proving just as effective against Crocs.

The state of the battle field at the end of turn two. 

Unfortunately you can see below a mass of Everblight forces still stand between me and that bloody spawning vessel!

So far only 7 figures have fallen! I think that is all about to change next turn!

Thankfully this turn has seen the demise of 3 croc, 3 legionaires and an Ogryn. If only the cavalry had passed their fear check who knows what additional carnage they could have caused!

"Does anyone need an Alligator skin handbag?"

Killing the Legionaires grants them "Vengence" and with great glee Lano moves forward his remaining Legionaires and hacks down Steelheads left, right and centre. I have collected half a dozen corpse tokens already and Lano is not even out of his control phase yet. Man this is going to be painful!

The Gators charge into my right flank and LITERALLY rip the heads off my Halberdiers!

"Who turned the lights out and why can I smell fish?"

The counter attack is an absolute massacre but  I do collect over 12 corpse counters.

That big gap in the middle used to be full of Halberdiers and cavalry!

Things are absolute carnage in the centre with my Steelheads decimated by the press of bodies steaming in.

At least the photos look good!

"Form an orderly line, I have lefts and rights for everyone!"

On my left things are going much better. I send the Ogryn UA for a flying lesson which nerfs their charge. I think I also gun down another Ogryn and leave a couple of the others on the brink of destruction. Hopefully I will be in a position to destroy his objective marker next turn. At the very least I might have a pop at it to see if I can divert some of Lano's figure from the centre carnage to protect it from being destroyed.

In the centre I try to be clever and have my new Risen pop up behind Lanos forces. I create a Thrall and try to charge it at Kallus now it has a clear run at the enemy caster. Well when I say a clear run only a lowly swamp Gobbo is within melee range of the Thrall SURELY it will not be able to take out the Thrall with free strikes!

OF COURSE IT BLOODY DOES, and don't call me Shirley!

At this point things get a little blurry as I have had News Year eve between this game and the write up.

I was also getting VERY aware of how late it was getting as did not want to miss the Kids bed time. I am sure Lano also had plans which involved  seeing in the new year with copious amounts of alcohol.

I do know it was about now that Lano popped his feat and suddenly Alexia is starved of corpses which means she is in REAL trouble next turn and suddenly Incubi are appearing EVERYWHERE as I hack and blast Lanos forces to Kingdom come.

At this point I popped my feat and charge Ashlynn in to take care of one of the Ogryn. What a girl! She does not even bat an eyelid as she hacks the big fella from limb to limb before popping off a Legionaire!

Once again the Devil Dogs make their presence felt on my right. Lano has charged his Crocs onto melee but by keeping one of my Dogs still while moving the others up into range I can still pretty much shoot into the melee with inpunity!

On both flanks Crocs and Ogryns continue to fall. I feel I am doing a great job of ignoring Lano's "Anvil" while blunting the effectivetess of his "Hammer" but at this point I am in a real dilemma as my forces on the left are at full strength and if time allowed I could slowly push my forces forward pushing Lano's "anvil" off the control zone before his left flank turns up in piece meal fashion.

As it is the clock is running and it is getting REALLY late.

Sod it! I am going to have to go for the Kill next turn or declare!

I think Lano has given up on his right and decides to just use the Ogryn there to delay my Mages for as long as possible.

In the centre he spawns a "Stinger" and it make a bee line (pun intended!) for Gorman (man Lano HATES Gorman!). With dark Guidance (?) up Lano gets to roll an additional die and this is sufficent to counter my feat.

Gorman explodes into a sticky sack of Incubi spawning mess.Sly gets the same treatment.

Porn

porn

Lano finally gets to kill Alexia and dances a little jig ........ that is until she makes her tough roll ......... AND SHE'S STILL IN THE GAME!!!!!

Lano is apocalyptic with rage but it does result in the following Photo porn so its not all bad.

If your gonna be dumb you've gotta be TOUGH!!!!!

wide angled porn!

I have less then 45 minutes left till the kids bed time! It is now or never.

The Ogryns on my left run in to jam up the Mages. But the free Mages calmly blast away into the melee at RAT 9 and 10.

One Mage falls to friendly fire but the Ogryns are now toast.

They also get to blast the Incubi engaging "The wild Rover" from behind.

Ashlynn casts "flashing blade" before charging in to finish off the Stinger, BEFORE popping off the final Incubi with "Virtuoso" (What a Girl)!

And now (for me) the final roll of the die.

All of Ashlynns Knife work frees up the "Wild Rover" to make a bead on Kallus. With the extra 4" from steam pressure he makes the shot and the boost to hit and boost to damage see Kallus take 9 (I think) damage. Unfortunately he has two fury left and this damage is pawned off to a nearby Shredder.

Kallus has one more transfer left! SOD IT. That will cost me the game!

The rest of the plan was to move "Old Smokey" up next, use "Snipe" from the Mage Captain to get the range and boost the attack roll to try for the critical.

As it is I decide to just unload my wad into the mass of infantry in the centre and see what carnage I can cause.

The Ogryn with his back to the Mule makes at excellent target.

Never turn your back to a Mule.

With nothing between Ashlynn and the mass of forces in Lano's centre it is an easy in and with "Dark guidance" she suffers a "Steve Irwin" and takes a Stinger right through the chest!

Merde!

Bloody shame as this was proving to be a real ding dong of a battle and it definately still had legs.

Last "Money shot"

P.S. I made the kids bed time by 10 min! ;0)