Wee Machine.

So after the misery that was my Journey man league experiences last night I needed a game of Wee Machine!

What is Wee Machine?


Basically it is Warmachine I play with my kids.




Now I know exposing kids under 6 to the misery that is Warmachine should result in a call to child line for mental torture, but honestly this does not make me a bad parent.................. Honest!

We play a very simple system, Troy "The Boy" being the eldest has to roll the difference between the Mat / Rat of his figure and the defence of what hes attacking and has six "Focus" per turn to buy the extra die he needs to make the roll.

Eden "The Metal Munchkin" only needs to roll 5's or 6's to hit. She also gets tokens to buy extra die.

Mike "The Riot" (i.e. me) never seems to hit anything regardless of what I roll and have yet to win a game!

"The goodies"

The Goodies from left to right are; Eden the Gun Magess, Zara (her best friend) the jack marshal, Josh the Warjack (Troys best friend), Troy the warcaster, and Kyle the big robot (another best mate).

"The baddies"

 Following the story arc from our bed time stories I am Alexia "The Skeleton lady" and her skelie horde

"Nope no Skelies here!"

The Goodies are protecting an important Cygnar outpost from attacks.

"Yep your in range"

Suddenly the shambling horde appear from behind the mysterious rock head!

I have recently introduced "The Boy" to units in maths and he now has to check the range of his weapons before he can fire. "Munchkin" being two years old has unlimited range thanks to her magic gun.

Troy opens fire and pops off his first skellie.

"Oh no it's the Goodies, find cover!"

Having lost my first Skelie I run into the cover of the hill. No fancy buffs here in Wee Machine, if you can't be seen, you can't be shot.

"We can see you from up here!"

It a move of tactical genius the goodies climb on top of the ruined outpost and can now see the baddies! This can't be good for the shambling horde!

Then to prove that even Wee Machine it that kind of game Troy decides a rule that Kyle the big robot can't climb up because he's too heavy.

"Open fire!"

The baddies continue their assault through the hail of fire.

See we're smiling (sort of), don't call child line.

"No Daddy I popped off that one!"

If you look closely at the photo below you can just spot "The Metal Munchkin" tampering with the die to get her six. My heart nearly burst with pride when I spotted it writing up this post!

"No Daddy I rolled a six............ Honest!"

The Metal Munchkin decides the Skelies are close enough and assaults with Zara in close support!

We roll 2 die, add the MAT and the highest score wins.

"Fear the Metal Munchkin"

Alexia climbs the hill to take a shot but is spotted by Troy the Caster. Range is checked and............ Alexia is in range. Troy "Buys" 3 dice and its all over for Alexia! but her Skelies are out for revenge!

"Stop your whinging Dad, thats well in range!"

Josh the Warjack also charges off the battlements and squashes a skelie by landing on him. Once again thats a new rule I've never read before!

Troy the Caster also pitches in and "Buys" two dice, including his special Black die (which kills in a 2+).......

............... and rolls a "Robot Head"........basically that means it produces a 5" AOE and any baddies in it are killed!

Once again the lands of Cygnar are saved from the forces of Evil and I am yet to win a game this weekend!