Saturday 19 April 2014

Forget "El Classico" heres "Hell Smashyco"

With the dust barely settled from the 6 Dominons final, here we are again Bob for the annual Bank holiday weekend "Hell Smashyco" Blood bowl match.

As always it is the immortal rivals "The Orc team" Vs "Her Majesty's Gentlemen of the Realm" so sit back and prepare to witness a fabulous display of Martial skill, panache and outrageous brutality!

HOOF! the Orcs recieve the kick off and attempt to draw the "Gentlemen" off to the left wing.


 The human chucker falls for the bluff and directs his team to intercept. Pop 'em off chaps!


Hell Smashyco here we go as the teams collide



Chin Lee the Hong Kong Asian Sensation, spots Shifty Nick breaking for the end zone and attempts to boot Nick into the back bleachers.


He misses the kick and an Orc blocker knocks him flat on his back for his troubles. I guess thats one way to get into a mediative state Bob.

The rest of the "Loose toofs" form a corridor along the side line for the Orc catchers and blitzers. Is Shifty Nick open for the Touch down Bob?


NO Bob the "Hebrew Hammer" comes crashing in out of nowhere and flattens the catcher with ease.


But the rest of the green horde are in close support and use their superior numbers to jam out the Humans and "The green streak" picks up the ball and runs in the Touch Down and his fans the "Green streak ooligans" go nuts in the stands.


The "Gentlemen" catch the Kick off and charge the left of the field with the Blitzers leading the way.
Tally ho chaps!


The loose toofs get stuck in with da leather and stop the charge in its tracks.


The catcher hands off the ball and makes a break for space with the clock running down


He goes for the sprint Bob, its the only way he can get there before the final whistle, but wait ......... NO its a double six on the sprint, he really was not supposed to make that run.






And theres the whistle Bob. Can the Gentlemen of the Realm come back in the second half?

2nd Half


The Orcs receive and make another break for the right. Do you think the pitch is slanted Bob?


An heroic tackle from the human blitzer brings down "Sticky hands Dan" and stalls out the Orc attack. Can the Gentlemen capitalise on this break and stick it to johnny foreigner?


Thankfully for the green skins Shifty Nick is in close support again and scoops up the ball to continue the run but their left flank collapses and the Orcs are in danger of being overwealmed by the valiant men of the Realm. They don't like it up them boys!!


Nick punts the ball as there is only 4 turns remaining and the Green horde attempt to cripple some of the more fragile human players to redress the balance. Now thats some smash mouth football Bob!




One of "Her majesties Wall" makes a break for the Orc endzone and is chased by "the green streak". Can "the Wall" shrug off the block and stay standing to catch the "up and under" from the human catcher next turn?


Keep calm and carry on old chap. The Human coach awaits the roll of the die.






No Bob, the Green Streak floors the Human blocker and with no humans able to make it to the end zone before the final whistle the Orcs go nuts and the "Smashyco" honours go to the Orc team.



Just look at those Dug outs Bob what a game, what a spectacle, whats for dinner?







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