Sunday, 16 November 2014

Goblin Porn. Warhammer Fantasy battle



As a kid "Goblin porn" was the name we gave to discarded pages of a certain type of "Gentleman's magazine" we found in the bushes while playing at the local park, but now after todays game against Tookey and his Goblin horde "Goblin Porn" has a whole new meaning for me!


The Imperial scout rides up to Custorias. Through ragged breaths he reports, "Green skins spotted across the river Sir....................... LOTS of Greenskins!"

So I walked up to the table and set out my 15 figures, then Mark sets out this lot !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





 Fuck thats a LOT of Goblins (all beautifully painted I might add)! This is going to be a real up hill swim!

 With 30 odd bows on the other side it's no surprise that Marcus my wizard joins my Knights for the added protection. My Demigryphs set up in close support.

Mark deploys in a LONG green line of bad intentions.

My battle plan forms. I set up in one corner. I will march to the centre to draw out Marks Arrow boyz, weather the hail of fire and then crash through the spider boyz on the flanks.

This should get my Gryphs off the field, allowing me to threaten the Goblin flank when they return. 

The Knights will charge the other unit of Spider riders and hopefully crash through as well. This should run me across the Goblin line and draw out any Fanatics hiding within the Goblin horde. 

With me threatening both flank this should force Mark to split his forces and go some way to countering Marks overwhelming numbers!

The best laid plan of Mice and men and all that!


So stage one seems to work as I draw out the Spider riders. I was expecting a hail of fire but the 30 odd shots really take me by surprise.

Thankfully only one Knight drops. Bad news is that only leaves me 14 figures!


 Time for Mark to reply.

First off he marches everyone forward and then its time for magic. True to form Mark rolls a six for his magic mushroom and then losses his magic level. He's now just a Goblin walking round with a stick.


 My turn and time to see if I can make part two of this plan work.

My Knights pass within 8" of the Goblin spears (just), now I just need to crash through the spider riders and get the hell out of the way!


 Here comes the pain!

Thankfully the little green loon fails to cause a single injury and I get to work on the Spider riders.


The Gryphs crash into the unit on the other flank.


 So, so far its all going to plan and then two things go wrong at once!

One, the Gryphs massacre the riders so I do not get the chance to chase them off the field, leaving me open to attack from the giant red Squib thing and Warlord.

Two, the knights chase down the other unit of Riders and crashes straight into the arrow boys leaving me open to the flank attack from the massive unit of Spear Goblins!

This is the unit I really wanted to save to last as I will need to hit it front and back if I really want to run it off in one round of combat.


At least the photos look great!



 Marks second turn.

True to form Marks second Wizard attempts to cast a spell and rolls the miscast!

The spell gets off but the little green sod disappears in a puff of smoke. There goes all Marks magic!


A massive movement roll by Mark sees his giant squib thing make a big dent into my Gryphs.




 As I feared the massive unit of Goblin spears charge into my flank and this is going to take some serious knife work to sort out!

I decide to move my Champion and Grand Master to the flank to whittle away at the Spears ranks and hope my Knights can massacre the Arrow boys on one go as they still get the strength bonus from the charge.


 With the Squib thing passing through my Gryphs I hope I can rip Marks Warlord to pieces and then crash onto the rear of the Spears.



One of my Gryphs falls but I Hex the Warlord and still hope to boil through the Warlord.


Thankfully the high number of wounds I cause to the Arrow boys cancels out the rank bonus of the spears and I manage to whittle away enough of the spears to lose them one rank bonus.


I hex the Warlords strength and finish him off. Great? That is until the Warlords giant spider mount goes mental and gains hatred and frenzy!

Great!


I lose another Gryph and suddenly I am bogged down in two combats without mutual support. I need to break this deadlock!


I decide to split my attacks again and hope my Grand Master and Champion will whittle away another rank of spears while the rest of the Knights decimate the remaining Arrow boyz.

 I make full use of hexs to try to sway the combat but make the mistake of splitting the hexs between the giant spider and the Arrow boys. In retrospect I really should have concentrated the spells on one unit, especially with losing the strength bonus from not charging!

Unfortunately I fail miserably with all my attack rolls and Marks dispells my hexs resulting in the death of 2 maybe 3 Goblins!

I lose the resolution by 4 and a failed morale roll sees me bolting for the table edge. 



They get caught by both units and are well and truly massacred!

Losing to Goblins...................... oh the shame.



LESSONS LEARNT

1) I still thnik "lore of Shadows" was the way to go as I was engaged in Melee from round one and needed a spell deck full of Hexs and augments which I could use while engaged in combat.

What I should have done was concentrated the spells one one unit at a time!

2) I think my initial battle plan was sound but reacted poorly once I got bogged down.

3) Fuck thats a lot of Goblins.

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