The Killing 3000

The killing 3000

5 person teams from across the Universe congregate at the MEGC arena to partake in a no holds barred, bullet ripping, all in, white knuckle, death match.

Mercenary units looking for a quick buck,

Military units fighting for prowess,

Warrior lodges blooding initiates,

Aliens looking for an all you can eat buffet,

Criminal gangs looking for immunity,

Bored house wives of Beverly Hills looking for something to do until the next charity ball,

OR Z-list celebrities desperate to do anything other than Panto in Rhyl again!!

The universe is watching

let the carnage begin!

In true 80's action hero style the Pat Sharps enter the Arena.

Weeks ago Damon at the Miniature Empire challenged us to invent our own game which could be played in under an hour and was not a direct rip-off of any other game out there.

Like a mug I was the only one who turned up with their own game! I hoped the critics would be kind.

The Cyber men enter the arena and all the kids watching hide behind the sofa

Damon (the Dr. Who nut), turns up with Cyber men and promptly pop off Liam's Sniper. Cha ching Baby!

"wasn't there five of us a minute ago?"

Already suffering casualties Liams IMEF Marines bolt for the cover of the refinery through a hail of gun fire. 

"Shit, change of plan. Now run that way!"

Ed's German "Freebooters Fate" leather clad, Dominatrix scale the refinery and smelling blood open up on Liams IMEF marines. Personally I think it is a racist thing against Gingers.

Banzai, Lano's WW2 Japanese charge the centre of the table

Lano enters the killing field with his time traveling WW2 Japanese and rushes the centre of the field desperate to find cover from the encroaching opponents.

Lee's Sisters of Mercy find this is "No time to cry"

Lee's sisters of battle enter the arena and Lee decides he would rather do a sponsored walk then partake in the killing and starts his LONG trek across the board to save Liam's Marines.

Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right, Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

Liam's Marines find themselves sandwiched between Damon's Cybermen, Ed's Dominatrix and Russel's D&D adventures! He desperately awaits Lee's cavalry to arrive to save the day.

Peek a boo!

My "Rioteers" hunker down behind the ruins and go all Orky on Lano's Japanese. WAAARGHHHHH!

more WAAARGGGHHHHHH!

"whats with all this open sky!" screams the agoraphobic adventurers!

Russel's D&D adventurers seem to have stumbled across an intergalactic gate way while dungeon crawling and turn up in the middle of "The killing". "Oh well it's not a level 26 Granox but it will do. Open fire with spells and sacred crossbows!"

Surprise boys. Mark reveals the Black hearted nature of his soul!

Mark and I had made a secret pact (which is all part of the game) to team up and see through the game. Mark decides its the end of the game now (despite only being turn 5) and opens fire with full auto into my Orks while they are looking the other way!

I have got to be honest I was thinking the same thing but stalled due to the approaching Russians and Japanese. Bravo Mark!

the Orks salute the Oomans cunning

Whats the Ork for "OH SHIT"

Suddenly its looking REAL bad for the Orks as Mark's Pat Shaps, Jiri's Russians (with Skaven support), Lee's Sisters of Battle and the last of Lano's Japanese close in. 

The words "Mexican stand off" spring to mind.

now this is a episode of Dr. Who I want to see!

As the value of each figure rises, alliances are broken as the players turn on each other to reap the maximum bounties on the surviving figures.

"Change of plan Boyz, get the oomies!"

With the advancing of a 3 team alliance I decide to crash through the back stabbing scum that is Mark and his "Pat Sharps" (no hard feelings), and bunker down behind the temple until turn ten.

My medic can be heard screaming "lads can't we talk about this?"

I desperately try to convice the approaching teams that Marks figures are more valuable then mine, AND they are not in cover!

"so where are the safety catches on these things?"

Turn seven and Lee's UN commitee finally end their meeting about having a meeting and decide its time to open fire. He then asks the immortal question "so how do you shoot in this game?"

"Run away, run away!"

over here fellas, we will protect you. Or bring you closer in order to shoot you..... He he he

Russel coaxes Liams marines over on the promise of protection. Then decides their now close enough to fill full of holes and gos full auto on their arses. Mark nods in sage agreement.

To be honest I kind of lost track of what was going on from this point on as allegences were being made and broken left, right, and centre and figures were falling like flies!

Turns out Cybermen and shoot as well as walk around slowly

Damons sniper just keeps popping them off and becomes one of the most valuable figures on the board. The bull eye on its chest is just getting bigger and bigger.

Turns out scantily clad leather outfits are REALLY bad at stopping bullets. Who would have thought it!

"Wait.......... virtuous Female paladins approach. Oh Sod it open fire on the bitches"

"Don't let the condom on my head fool you. I AM DANGEROUS!"

"Money, money, money ................. MONEY!"

"I knew I should have stayed in the comitee meeting"

"We're Russian, sieges are what we do!"

"Metal good", "open bad"

"Game over, now where are the cyber bitches I have money to spend"

At the end of turn 10, surviving players count their bounties and it turns out Jiri (Russians) wins, beating second place Russel by only 2500 credits.

Loved the variety of the teams on show (and the fact that most of them were painted) and once again the members of the MEGC showed the creative energy that inspires me to keep picking up the paint brush.

Some how everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and a couple even asked if they could play again in the future (I think they were just being polite). The good news is no one threw any thing at me and no one fell asleep during the game.

JOB DONE!